it's not a fashion statement, it's a deathwish.

As much as i dont feel like posting this entry, you can say i really needa get this off my chest.

I feel as if i'm only 2 cents worth.
All the stuff i've done and sacrifices, the love ever so deep as a valley, seems to have been forsaken in less than 2 weeks for a new chapter of your love life.

Exactly 90 movies, another 10 to hit significant 100.
80 'loveydovey' sms i stored safely in my phone since i carried my present one.
The collected whatever-trip-tickets, pictures which i couldn't bear to delete or throw them afterall.
For a moment, I wish i was heartless or a playerette. I, hurting others and not the other way round. Selfish? yes but it's less terrible to go through criticisms than heartbreaks.

Imagine your heart being pry open and yet nobody even yourself is able to stop the bleeding, like a helpless sheep wandering among the herd.
The thought of taking the plunge actually came across my mind
I need somebody to stab me seriously there, on the left chest.
WHY? tell me whyee...
issit that easily forgotten?
when you msg me asking me to listen to that song, i searched frantically for it on the spot, right in between a bloody lecture using a laptop just to analyse the lyrics first and d/l it straight into my fren's lappy. The underlying meaning behind your actions, im truely confused.
Do not lift me high up to throw me down again. I quote you.
'Sorry' doesnt help at this point of time. It's just a form of courtesy to me anyway.
And the shadow of you seems to be lingering around everywhere i go. It's irksome yet i cant manage to get rid of that feeling.
Dejected, is that what you wana make me feel? you have succeeded, i tell you.

This year, i wish for a pill created, whereby i can select and delete the memories.